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Nothing About This Is Beautiful

by Indigo Smith Oles

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1.
Noface 03:47
Sleep alone in sunlight. Streets uncombed and trailing waste. Another "1 loss" to keep. I'm not an actor but I use to play one on TV, before the sun got to me. Leaving paper childhood. Leafless on the boulevard. Uncuffed in name but couldn't write. A novel apprehension of apparitions aptly shunned, above the frame with golden eyes. Sleep alone in sunlight. Streets uncombed. Skin untied.
2.
Throwing candy out to the crowd Dragging down the main The helpless little thing with the dirty mouth Who's always got something to say You're sitting around at home now waiting for your brother to call I saw him down in the alley Having had enough of it all Said you can do what you want to whenever you want to You can do what you want to there's no one to stop you All spit and spite you're up all night and down every day A tired man with only hours to go just waiting to be taken away Getting in to the back of a car for candy from some stranger Watching the parade with pinpoint eyes full of smoldering anger You can do what you want to whenever you want to You can do what you want to there's no one to stop you Now you can do what you want to whenever you want to Do what you want to whenever you want to Do what you want to whenever you want to Though it doesn't mean a thing Big nothing
3.
Common Pest 03:56
Deer in the headlights heading south Bottle by your bedside for the coming drought So much for growing up so fast Couldn't even take the comedown. Talk 'til your head's numb making bets Following the breadcrumbs of a common pest Looking from too far out to see the crowd You bet against yourself again. Rain on the windshield deer on the hood Lost kites and pinwheels glass in your foot You claim your prize in your own mind And keep standing where you've always stood
4.
It's someone else's birthday today The snow has melted and turned back to rain Someone somewhere has forgotten that It happens every year Up for a minute running in place A mirror-image postcard keepsake Sent from the other side of the earth Still doesn't keep me warm
5.
November 02:51
Waking up again on yesterday's floor Watching the dust dance in the sun Walking past rows of little houses With white roses out front Only in the glow of the tail lights Were they finally painted red In the eternal second Before I find my racing head. This grey highway sky is a temple Embraced by it rising gently Where lie the lives of last November? Only ghosts live forever Laying down my skin at tomorrow's door Watching the sun turn to dust There's music playing from up above As the cameras pan out on us I can't tell if it's the ending credits Or the Opening Of some unfamiliar yet Strangely hopeful scene This grey highway sky is a temple Embraced by its rising tempo Near are the night of next November Seeds in a sober slumber This grey highway sky it trembles Incased brined in dying embers Looking for the lights of this November In a sea of stormy weather
6.
Autophagy 02:09
I can feel your derision rising from the wood I found in winter. All vents breathing in the same smoke A forest of fractured climates beyond the legend of wolves A recycled ever-shrinking image It grows when listening but the walls never leave Your textbook bile The gaps between lines savored The wolves were all smoke and you were just wood
7.
No Name 02:46
Smoke in the morning air Scraps for the wolves in wait Scratching your chalkboard wounds With cold distaste I saw a child there Drawing a figure 8 Under a blanket Of old mistakes Circling endlessly Through the circuitry Making mountains from Moments of weakness Plastic stigmata gown A scrap for the laughing stock Scrape up the papercuts To spit back at your god Ducttape the camera's mouth Tie to the ticking clock It's all a perfect line At least that's what you thought. Circling endlessly Through the circuitry Making mountains from Moments of weakness
8.
6 in the morning i've been Turning dirt over just Looking For a piece that feels like me Glass snow lines the walls and windows But this room is on fire And I'm feeling hollow again Another deadend roundabout Circling on stolen wings I don't care no I don't care Until the end is near Written like an old cliche Just like everything I say I don't care no I don't care Just shut your fucking mouth

credits

released March 20, 2021

All parts written and performed/programmed by Indigo Smith Oles (Except Ballad of Big Nothing which was written by Elliott Smith).

Recorded by Robert Horne in a warehouse between a liquor store and a hockey rink.

Mixed and mastered by Robert Horne and Indigo Smith Oles in multiple bedrooms.

Vocal sample on Ballad Of Big Nothing by Presidentlongboi (www.presidentlongboi.com).

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Indigo Smith Oles Madison, Wisconsin

The fruit of rumination and run-of-the-mill escapism.

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